Sakhyam

The eighth stage of the nava-vida bhakti described in the Bhagavatha and other scriptures is Sakhyam. When translated, Sakhyam means friendship, a beautiful relationship between two or more people.

We all understand the word friendship. As we go through life, wading through joy and grief, we want someone with whom we can share our happy days as well as our sad ones, someone who is like-minded with whom we can communicate, and someone who will encourage us and inspire us. As we trek along the journey of life we want someone to be by our side no matter what. Essentially, we long for someone we can call our own. To this someone, we designate the relationship of friend.

This is a relationship that we make of our own free choice. We decide who our friends are. That is why friendship is such a special relationship.

The Lord responds to a devotee according to the devotee’s feelings for Him. When devotion has grown stronger in a devotee’s heart, the devotee desires a still closer relationship with his beloved Lord. He yearns to move closer into the inner circle of the Lord. The Lord is all, He is Poorna (complete), He responds to a devotee in the form and relationship the devotee loves. Friendship is particularly sweet when it is with the Lord.

In the Sakhyam stage, the devotee reaches the stage where he sees God as his friend. A friend is always your well-wisher, hence whatever happens is seen as a special gift from this special Friend. Everything is seen as His Prasad. He sees God to be the companion by his side. In every relationship he see Him. Sranavam (listening), Kirtanam (singing), Smaranam (contemplation), Padsevanam (serving His lotus feet), Archanam (worship), Vandanam (salutations) and Dasayam (considering the Lord his master) have brought him to the stage where he yearns not only to be with God at all levels, physical, mental and spiritual, and in all situations, but to merge and become one with Him.

Formalities are there between people when the understanding is not very deep rooted. When a relationship is very close there are no formalities left between two people, especially if they
are in the other’s inner circle. Both understand each other very well. The Sakhyam level of love is very deep. It takes a lot of sadhana and depth of understanding to reach that level. The absence of formality here means that the devotee goes beyond all the charms for the promised fruits of the Vedic rituals. Vedic rituals are done for worldly and other worldly gains. His self-control, study and constant meditation has taken away his fascination for material wealth and sensuous life.

The friend of God stops desiring the world and the worldly. His eye is fixed on his divine Friend alone. Eyeing his divine Friend he becomes a friend of all creation. His intentions have become purified, meaning he is no more selfish, he no more works for personal gains. From personal he has moved to the universal. These 8 steps of devotion help the devotee move from the personal to the universal. That is a tremendously big gain by itself.

For this great love that he has acquired, there can be no rules or expectations. For example, if I worship the Lord because He answers all my prayers, then the day He does not answer according to my wishes will be the end of my love. That is not true love. Swami says “No reason for love, no season for love” is divine love is the unconditional love. Swami also says “Duty without love is deplorable, duty with love is desirable and love without duty is divine.” The devotee with unconditional love has reached the threshold of Godhood. He is almost there, for at the threshold he is not really in. Being at the threshold he is neither in nor out. Being so close to divinity the devotee’s vision is extremely clear and so the secrets of God are revealed to him, for between friends there are no secrets.

There is the story in the Bhagwad about Krishna and Arjuna. Arjuna was said to be at the Sakhyam level of devotion and such was the relationship that Krishna always revealed the secrets of His actions to him. One day when they were out in the jungle they lost their way. They eventually reached a village near the jungle. As they were hungry and tired they went to a rich man’s house and asked the residents for some food. The rich man only gave abuses and sent them off. On departing Krishna blessed the man with more riches. Arjuna observed this but kept quiet.

Then they reached a poor man’s hut near the jungle. Likewise, they asked the resident for some food. It was a poor brahmin who lived there. He invited them in with joy and brought some milk for them. That was all he had in the house. Not knowing who they were, he followed the vedic call for ‘atithi devo bhavah’. He was a great devotee of the Lord and was pleased to be of service to Him in the form of these two strangers. Thanking him for his kindness they left and Krishna blessed him with “may your cow die”.

Now this was too much for Arjuna to digest. How could his friend Krishna bless the rich man for abusing them and curse the brahmin for his sacrifice? He had a sickly looking old cow which gave only a little milk, which he offered to his hungry guests and so leaving nothing for himself. Being a warrior Arjuna protested at the injustice in Krishna’s words. But can the Lord ever do injustice?

Being a true friend of Arjuna, Krishna revealed the secret of His action. His blessing for the rich man to prosper more was actually a curse. The rich man was already very arrogant because of his riches, he had no compassion in his heart for his fellow beings. By giving him more riches he was damned to stay in that arrogance which would increase. From the spiritual standpoint it was a curse but from the worldly standpoint it was taken to be a blessing. The Lord sees the spiritual standpoint only because it is that which brings us happiness and sorrow, and not the amount of money we have. We devotees must learn to see things differently.

Krishna’s curse for the old brahmin was actually a blessing. Krishna revealed that the brahmin had detached himself from the world. He was only attached to his cow. So to remove his attachment to the cow, Krishna took it away. From that time onwards the brahmin learnt to depend solely on the Lord for his existence. He gave himself up to His care. It was a great step forward for him. So what was a curse from the worldly standpoint was actually a blessing from the spiritual standpoint.

The Lord cannot bear to see a fault in His devotee. He only wants the growth of His devotees. Whatever He does is actually for our benefit only. The devotee on this level of devotion comes to see that and so is happy in all situations. Swami says “Friendship is the expression of unshakable love, love that is noble, pure, free from desire or egoism.”

If I like someone and want to establish a friendship with him, I have to get to know that person and let the person get to know me too. On the Sakhyam level of devotion, the devotee gets to experience God’s love and so the devotee solves the mystery of God. When he does this he solves his own mystery and the mystery of the universe. That would be entering the Lord’s inner circle truly.

One who enters the inner circle knows about his close Friend and His secrets. Such a devotee truly see God, he sees the real face of God, which is really faceless. Also, he sees His real form which is really formless. Seeing God means he sees God in everything. In that supreme vision he himself is also included. Hence, he has solved his own mystery too.

We devotees only imagine that we know God. The truth, however, is otherwise. So long as we think that there is a God and we are His devotees, we have not understood Him. In understanding God, there is only God. There is no devotee left to claim his understanding. The devotee dissolves in the vision of His beloved Lord. He sees God only in everything and everyone, even in his own self.

If one is asked to define God, we say God is Love. What is love? We answer Love is God. Thus, we go round in circles. We think God is Krishna, Rama, Shiva, Sai, etc. What is Sai? Whatever we may answer (for example, infinite, imperishable, all pervading), we again go round in circles for we do not understand the implications of any of these descriptions. Long reflections are required to understand them.

Sai is not what we understand with our mind or intellect. He is not a limited form. He is the illuminator of all our experiences. God is not only a name and form, He is the totality, all names and forms (Vishvaroopa). In totality, the individual ‘I’ is a part of God and not separate from Him. The day we are able to see Him in everyone we too will become His friend.

When a devotee comes close to God all forms start melting, even the form of His beloved God. All forms are His and yet no form is His. Sri Ramakrishna Paramhamsa said that from a distance the water of the ocean appears to be blue. When you go near and take it in your cupped palms, it is colourless. Likewise, from a distance God appears to have attributes but when one goes near, one finds Brahman has no attributes. He is both attributeless and with attributes, formless and with form. He is like the infinite ocean.

When one comes close to God all scriptures seem to be of no use to the devotee because he has gone beyond the descriptive words in the scriptures to reach the truth. Only long reflections on those words have helped him to transcend the words to discover the Lord who lies beyond all words and thoughts. Eventually the devotee drops all words and thoughts because God can be known and seen only in silence.

Once there were two men who were invited to visit a mango garden with a view to start an investment. As soon as they entered the garden, they were both amazed at the quality and abundance of the fragrant fruit. One of the men immediately started counting how many mango trees there were and how many mangoes grew on each tree. Then he took out a calculator and started to compute the value of the orchard.

The second man, however, on seeing this amazing orchard and its fruit walked straight to the office of the owner of the garden. There he introduced himself, made himself known and after a short chat, the owner invited this man to not only pluck the fruit and taste it, but also to take away as much as he wanted for his family and friends. Thus, while one man was busy counting and calculating, the other was tasting the delicious fruit itself.

Ramakrishna Paramhansa often cited this example to show the difference between an ordinary devotee and an advanced devotee who had reached the Sakhyam stage. The ordinary devotee busies himself with probing the genesis of creation while the advanced devotee makes a direct acquaintance by presenting himself.

In the Gita, Krishna declares, “He who searches me out in friendship he shall find Me. Then, I am always with him, always. He will never lose sight of me nor will I ever lose of him.”

“Take one step towards me and I shall take a hundred steps towards you,” Swami has said to us time and time again. Baba says, “This is not the kind of friendship that can be cultivated by just saying hello. Instead you have to make your heart hollow so that it can be filled with the Divine and his secrets.”

Arjuna saw Krishna as a friend and enjoyed this intimacy, as is told in the Gita. Arjuna is described as joking and playing with Krishna, and even eating meals out of the same plate. This was a friendship between the embodiment of the Highest (Krishna) and the embodiment of the best (Arjuna). When God makes you a friend, there is no hierarchy in this friendship. Friends are equal. He makes you His equal.

Baba says, “Earn the right to approach God without fear and the right to ask for your heritage. Whatever role you give God to play in your relationship, he will play it to perfection, but you too must play yours with the utmost integrity.”

There was once a man who had three very good friends. One day, he was accused of a very serious crime and had to appear before the court. He approached his first friend to help him. The friend was willing to help except that the friend said he could only help him from the confines of the house. He could not leave the house he lived in.

The man approached his second friend and asked him to help him. The second friend was also willing except that he too had a condition. He could come up to the courthouse but he could not enter the witness box to bear witness to his friend’s innocence. Becoming desperate, the man approached his third friend. The friend was not only willing to help, he was willing to go to the courthouse and stand in the witness box and speak for his innocence.

In our life, we all acquire three kinds of friends. The first friend is all the material belongings that we accumulate, these are useful to us as long as they are in the confinement of our homes. The second friend is symbolic of our family members, worldly relations and worldly friends, they will carry us to cremation but will not burn in the fire with us.

The third friend is the values that we acquire through the life we lead, the qualities that we accumulate, the virtues that we install in our hearts. These will persist with us even after death and burial.

We have to live our life virtuously. This is easiest done by installing the Lord, our friend firmly in our heart. May the Lord Grace us by taking us in His inner circle.

JAI SAI RAM