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"LOVE ALL SERVE ALL" "HELP EVER, HURT NEVER" Sai Baba

The Eternal Relationship

During the course of our lives, we develop many kinds of relationships between ourselves and others. But these relationships are not born with us. They appear and disappear like passing clouds.

The relationship of mother and child occurs only after one birth and this maternal relationship ends when either the mother or the child dies. The husband and wife relationship occurs only after marriage. This martial relationship also ends when either one dies or they get divorced.

Thus, all our worldly relationships are intermediate occurrences of a temporary nature. It is only our relationship with God that remains eternal.

What is our relationship with God? What is the nature of the relationship that a seed has with the plant, the flowers and the fruits? The seed has sprouted and become the plant and produced flowers and the fruits. In other words, it is the seed that has manifested itself as all of these. If there were no seed, then none of these would have come into existence.

In the same way, the individual soul is a part of the supreme soul. The supreme soul manifested itself in multifarious forms. Ekohum Bahushyam (the one became many), proclaim the scriptures. Without the One there cannot be many. Similarly, without God, none of us would have come into existence. Without His will nothing is possible.

Our relationship with God cannot be defined exactly. It neither has a beginning or an end. God is the creator and the sustainer of all. When our life on earth comes to an end, we again merge in God. That is why the Vedic prayer says, Twameva Sarvam Mama Deva Devaa – You are everything to me, my Lord.

This eternal relationship is based on pure love, which is unconditional. Alas, this pure loves has now become polluted due to the effort of the Kali age. Swami says, “ Kali Yuga has become Kalmasha Yuga, the age of impurities.”

Today, all the five elements of nature are polluted. The air that we breathe, the water we drink, the sounds that we hear, and the atmosphere in which we live all are polluted. As a result, the human mind has become a storehouse of impurities.

Naturally the thoughts that arise in our mind are impure. An impure mind induces selfish thoughts. From sunrise to sunset the mind is steeped in selfishness. We do everything only with the hope of getting something in return. Our activities and relationships are governed by selfishness.

‘Nothing for Nothing’ has become the universal law. Most of us very sincerely observe this universally accepted law of selfishness at all levels of our relationships.

Adi Shankara sad, “In all relationships, one who has wealth, position, authority and a standing in the society is respected and adored by others around him with the hope of benefiting in some way or the other.”

In the Brihadaranya Upanishad, sage Yajnavalkya described the subtle inner meaning of all the various relationships of man. He asked his wife, “For who’s sake are you loving me?” He further said, “The wife does not love the husband for the husband’s sake. She loves him for her own sake. We think that the mother loves the child for the sake of the child but it is not so. It is for herself that she loves the child. In the same way, the guru loves his disciple not for the sake of the disciple but for his own sake.”

Thus, all worldly relationships are mere attachments based on self-centeredness. That is why we see marriages ending in divorce, parents disowning their children, or children walking out on their parents.

The teacher-student relationship is also marked by strikes and agitation. Money decides who should and what should be taught, and also how and how much to be taught.

In the Bhajagovindam, Adi Shankara said that one can be popular and be beloved by people around him only as long as he has something to offer. When he is no more of any use, the same people who benefited from him, and therefore praised him, will avoid him and distance themselves from him.

Hence, he warned, “As long as there is the ability to earn and save, so long are all your near and dear ones attached to you. Later on, when you come to love with an old infirm body, no one at home will care even to speak a word with you.” Therefore, he advised, “O Man! Before this world rejects you, you reject this world of selfishness, retire into the inner world and seek Lord Govinda.”

The scriptures mention five different types of mental attitude with which we can approach God. They are vatsalyam, dasyam, sakyam, maduryam and shantham.

Vatsalyam is affection that exists between a mother and a child. Saint Tulsidas adored Lord Ram and his consort Sita as his parents.

Dasyam is the relationship that exists between a master and his servant. In this relationship, the individual acknowledge the supremacy of the Lord and considers himself as his servant. Hanuman is an ideal example of Dasyabhakti.

Sakyam is friendship. We can approach God as our friend, just like Arjuna and Sudama did.

Maduryam is like the love that exists between an individual and her spouse. In this relationship, the individual accepts the Lord as her inseparable, lifelong companion and spends time in His constant contemplation. Meerabai and Radha excelled in this kind of love for the Lord.

Shantabhavam is the attitude of seeing God in everything, and everything as God.

The ideal example of this relationship with God is Prahlad. The scriptures have suggested these mental attitudes based on the different kinds of relationship we experience in our life so that it is easier for us to get closer to God.

Unfortunately, the self centered attitude of “what’s in it for me” is so deeply rooted and wide spread that it has corrupted even our relationship with God. We approach God with an endless list of demands and we try to make deals with Him, promising to offer something in return for the fulfillment of our desires. Thus, we develop a business relationship with Him.

Swami says our devotion and prayer to God should not be for the purpose of obtaining something or fulfilling some desire. Such prayers do not reach God. They will reach only those deities who deal with such restricted spheres, just as all matters are not taken to the king but are presented to the concerned ministers for action.

If you wish to ask God something then pray to Him Like this, “O Lord, I want only You.” When you have Him, you have everything. Swami illustrates this point with a story.

A businessman had four wives, each one different in character and attitude. Often he used to make trips to other countries for business. Since he was getting old, he wanted to retire. So, He decided to make one last trip, earn some money and then retire. He summoned all his wives and asked them what they would want him to bring from there.

The eldest wife was having some health problems and so she asked him to bring some medicines for her. The second wife was fond of collecting fancy items. Hence, she asked him to bring some decorative pieces of art for the house. The third wife was interested in poetry and literary work.. Therefore, she asked him to get the latest compilation of poetry by her favorite author.

The fourth wife was standing silently in a corner. Finally, when the merchant approached her and asked her about her wish she replied, “I don’t need anything. You have given me enough. All I want is that you take proper care of yourself during your trip and come back safely.” The merchant promised to do so and also promised his other wives to fulfill their wishes.

After a few months, when he returned from his trip he sent to the other wives the items of their choice, and finally took all his possessions and went to stay with the fourth wife. Even though she did not ask for anything, since she wanted only him she got him and all that he had.

In our lifetime, we try to establish a strong relationship with God and earn His grace in different ways. But because of our wrong attitudes and approach we fail in our attempts. Without realizing our mistake we complain that God is biased and we experience a roller-coaster ride in our relationship with Him.

His grace is like the sunlight. The sun is ever bright and shines equally on everything. But if the curtains and windows of our houses are not open, then the sun cannot illumine it. Swami says, “God’s grace is equally available to all like the sunshine. You have to do some sadhana to acquire it.”
God’s love is pure like the rain. Even though rainwater is pure and falls equally everywhere, if the vessel in which it is filled is impure the water gets contaminated. Similarly, even though God’s love is pure and equally available to all, we are unable to benefit because our mind and heart are not pure. Swami says, “Man is trying to earn God’s grace in many ways. Alas! In spite of his trying hard, he does not succeed in his attempts. The main reason for this is lack of purity.”

From the common man to a great scholar, most of us are concerned only with external purity and not inner purity. Transformation of man begins with the transformation of the mind. For the wheel of existence the mind is the focal point, the central hub from which all worldly activities emerge.

Swami describes purity of mind as the state of desirelessness. According to Him, in the journey towards God man has to reduce progressively his desires as these are the cause of all difficulties. Desires when fulfilled multiply and become greed, and also inflate self-conceit. When unfulfilled in results in disappointment, anger and hatred.

Desires gradually rob man of all his virtues and eventually make him forget his innate divinity. Therefore, the first requisite is to get rid of all desires that arise in our mind due to selfishness and pride.

When we pray to God we normally look for a response from Him. We want an acknowledgement from Him, and answers to our prayers. Swami says, “You can reach the state of desirelessness only when you give up your self without expecting anything from God, not even an answer. This is complete desirelessness. It denotes the ultimate state of surrender where you leave everything to His will and accept whatever happens as His gift meant for your good.”

Getting rid of the feeling of ‘I’ and ‘Mine’ will gradually purify the mind and the heart. When the mind becomes pure, the words and deeds that are prompted by it also become pure. It is only through the triple purity of thought, word and deed can we earn His grace and win His love.

According to Swami, there are three things which are immensely pleasing to the Lord: a tongue that never indulges in falsehood, a body that is not tainted by causing harm to others, and a mind that is free from attachment and hatred. These three things constitute the Triple Purity.

The scriptures have prescribed a number of ways of purifying our mind, speech and actions. Purity of mind can be achieved by often listening or reading God’s glory. As the mind gets absorbed in God consciousness, it will slowly disentangle itself from the web of worldly desires.

In the Gita, Lord Krishna said, “Nahi Jananena Sadrusham Pavitram Iha Vidhyathe” – in this world there is nothing so pure as the transcendental knowledge of the self. The scriptures contain the supreme knowledge in abundance. Gaining knowledge of the self and transient nature of the world will prompt the mind to gradually detach from the world and attach itself to the Master of the world.

Purity of speech can be achieved by speaking the truth which is beneficial and that does not cause pain to others. Above all chanting the sacred name of the Lord with love sanctifies the speech as well as one’s life.

The human body can be sanctified by rendering service to the needy. It is enough if we follow Swami’s simple dictum of ‘Help Ever Hurt Never’ and dedicate all actions to Him in order to purify our body.

Thus, when we follow this path of triple purity we are sure to reach God as Purity is Divinity.

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